The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast

a podcast devoted to amicable divorces

Communication is Your Secret Weapon in Controlling a Narcissist with Certified Divorce Coach and Narcissistic Survivor Meghan Remington

THE Amicable Divorce Expert, Judith M. Weigle, interviews former narcissist survivor Meghan Remington, now a divorce coach and former wife of a narcissist with three small children when she divorced. Meghan’s story is fascinating: She gave up her career to be a stay-at-home mom which was detrimental to her marriage; suffered infidelity from her former husband; moved to another state, away from her family, to accommodate her former husband’s career; and ultimately realized how important the right communication was if she wanted to get control of her life back and move back to the state where she grew up and where her family still lived.

Meghan’s approach to getting unstuck and able to move forward in a high conflict divorce is to help people get rid of the anger that anchors them to the point of losing control over their decisions, diluting their power, and rebuild their future. If someone is married to a high conflict personality, like a narcissist, setting boundaries, understanding the need for compromise, and understanding how to communicate will empower them to take back control of their lives.

“There is a mental reframing that takes places when a person is open to positive change. I help people with mental reframing of their thoughts. For instance, “I have to’ becomes “I get to…’”

“Remember, divorce is only one chapter of your life. You get to choose how you want the story to end,” Remington explains.

#narcissist #narcissism #THEAmicableDivorceExpert #TheAmicableDivorceExpertpodcast #divorcepodcast #communicatingwithanarcissist #divorcecoach #therapy #motivation #childcustody #highconflictpersonalities #compromise #ThrivingAheadDivorceCoaching #positivethinking #BillEddy #BIFF #BriefInformativeFriendlyFirm #coparenting #MeghanRemington #CertifiedDivorceCoach #JudithMWeigle #JudithWeigle

Biography and Philosophy of Meghan Remington

Meghan Remington, Certified Divorce Coach and founder of Thriving Ahead Divorce Coaching has a background in mental health with a Bachelors Degree in Family Studies and a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling. After going through a 1 ½ year divorce Meghan thought, “There has to be a better way,” and created the concept for Thriving Ahead with four basic principles: 1) Give yourself time to heal; 2) Break down your goals for post marriage; 3) Consider hiring a divorce coach; and, 4) Get organized.

Remington believes that in order to restart your life after a divorce, you have to consciously move from “we to me”. Reestablishing direction for your life is important so to create a positive vision for the future, and that can only be done through a single focus lens of what is best for you.

Facebook: @ThrivingAhead

Instagram: @thriving_ahead

Pinterest: @thrivingahead

LinkedIn: Meghan Remington, Certified Divorce Coach

www.ThrivingAhead.com

Meghan@ThrivingAhead.com

Johnny Depp & Billy Ray Cyrus: Two Sides to Amicable

On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast with Judith M. Weigle we speak with @LawyerLimor, Limor Mojdehiazad, Esq. about the current divorces and family law cases in the news: Johnny Depp & Amber Heard, Billy Ray Cyrus, Tom & Katie and Lala & Randall from Vanderpump Rules reality show on Bravo. The topics in these cases span from domestic violence and restraining orders, to prenuptial agreements, intellectual property rights, dismissing divorce cases, the significance of the date of separation, dividing a family business, spousal support in a high net worth marriage, paternity cases, and using social media to your disadvantage in a court filing.

We learn so much from celebrity divorces – sorry, celebs – because at the end of the day, their marriage and divorce issues are the same as ours, but with a few more zeroes in their bank accounts and more social media followers. To have your divorce splashed across the TV screens and your Internet home pages is nothing any of us want, yet it comes with the territory of being a celebrity. I wish them all the best and hope that a ray of amicability can shine on all of them.

Lawyer Limor is the legal voice of celebrity divorces in Hollywood and is a Tik Tok sensation with her observations and daily updates on all celebrity divorces in the news. Limor knows her stuff and has dealt with all aspects of divorce in her 10-year practice. Plus, she has a great sense of humor, mixed with candor, that makes her take on high profile divorce enlightening and fun.

Biography of Attorney Limor Mojdehiazad

Limor is a graduate of Southwestern Law school and started practicing family law in 2013. Limor’s office is in Beverly Hills and is perfectly situated to serve both the high net worth couples in Hollywood and Los Angeles, or those needing high end representation that comes from a personal and professional philosophy of honesty, integrity, kindness, and ethics. Mojdehiazad can work as a solo practitioner, or create a team to meet the needs of her clients. 

@lawyerlimor #lawyerlimor #LimorMojdehiazad #celebritydivorces #opinions #judgment #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast #divorcepodcast #billyraycyrus #johnnydepp #amberheard #katiemaloney #tomschwartz #lalakent #randallemmett #vanderpumprules #falsejudgments #nonjudgmental #spousal support #prenuptialagreements #intellectualproperty #socialmedia #amicabledivorces #domesticviolence #couplescounseling #dateofseparation #dividingabusiness #dividing assets #maritalstandardofliving #paternitycases #childcustody #childsupport #bestinterestsofthechild #secretlife #infidelity #realitytelevision #andy cohen 

Are Men’s Feelings Different Than Women’s in Divorce?

On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast we interview Tamir Berkman, Divorce Cowboy. Tamir only works with me because, as a man, because he believes he can address the emotional issues that men go through differently than women when in a relationship break-up. Tamir uses, as one of his approaches, Equine Therapy.  Equine Therapy is relatively new as a defined way to sort out feelings and gain perspective on why the relationship didn’t work.

Horses absorb distress and insecurity with people who try to get near them. Their reactions to skittish humans is to mirror that feeling back and react in a skittish manner and resist connecting with that human.

Tamir will take us through the ways in which men process emotion in a relationship break-up, and how understanding and dealing with those emotions can create a better post break-up relationship than existed in the relationship.

#divorce #amicabledivorce #mensfeelings #mensdivorcecoach #tamirberkman #childcustody #divorcecoach #therapy #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast #emotionaldivorce #judithmweigle #judithweigle #judyweigle #mediation #divorcecowboy #motivation #mentalhealth #personaldevelopment #separationsurvivalguide

Tamir@DivorceCowboy.com

www.DivorceCowboy.com.au

Twitter: TamirBerkman

LinkedIn: TamirBerkman

Divorce Cowboy podcast

What Makes a Divorce Settlement Agreement Difficult to Reach

On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast our guest is Attorney Natalie S. Lowe. We will be discussing Tips for Making a Good Divorce Settlement as well as reasons why settlements are difficult to reach.

One of the biggest reasons why settlement agreements are difficult is due to the emotional nature of divorce. Divorce is both emotional and financial. If there are minor children, that adds a layer of continued involvement between the parents that can only be healthy if both parents have gone through the grief stages of divorce, and are ready to change their identities from married to single – at least for a while.

Attorney Lowe will discuss the following reasons why a settlement agreement is difficult to reach:

1) how to know when you’re receiving good legal advice 

2) how to be patient if your spouse is taking longer than you want to take 

3) when to involve other professionals in the knowledge needed to make the decisions that are right for you 

4) when to compromise and be flexible in the negotiations

5) unrealistic settlement requests

6) fear of the financial future

7) lawyers dragging out time for financial gain

8) one or more spouses not ready to let go of the marriage

9) using the child as a pawn

10) emotionally attached to an asset

The decisions made in a divorce settlement agreement are bible once the agreement is signed by a Judge. That’s why every decision should be made with “informed consent”, meaning that legal advice is ultimately important before mediation or negotiation. People try to avoid lawyers or hide the fact that they’ve been to lawyers. But lawyers are there to help people understand the law so that when spouses are in the negotiation for settlement terms, they negotiate with a clear understanding of the law. Hopefully, a good lawyer is chosen. This will be discussed in the episode.

#divorcesettlementagreements #mediation #settlementagreements #attorneyadvice #natalielowe #attorneynatalielowe #informedconsent #divorce #childcustody #childsupport #spousalsupport #divisionofassetsanddebts #litigation #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast #divorcepodcast #judithweigle #judithmweigle natalieslowe #amicabledivorce 

Biography of Natalie S. Lowe, Esq.

Attorney Lowe has been in practice since 2006. Her office is in the Beverly Hills, CA area. She has specialized in family law exclusively. Her mentor was Dennis Wasser, one of the foremost attorneys in the Los Angeles area for decades. Natalie learned from the best to be the best.

natalie@nslfamilylaw.com 

Steps to Divorcing a Narcissist

On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast we have Liz Merrill, Divorce Coach and Mediator, and a survivor of a narcissistic spouse. Liz had small children who came to her and encouraged her to leave the marriage for their sake. This is the complete opposite of what parents attempt to do for their children: Stay in an unhealthy marriage to benefit their children and continuing to live in a home and in a family that doesn’t function well, isn’t happy, and doesn’t display sound judgment.  Liz explained that engaging in all the behavior altering she could possibly do to gain the approval of her narcissistic husband never got her the approval she thought she would receive. Liz contorted herself into a person she wasn’t to please her husband and the father of her children, while completely losing her identity. Her children came to her rescue.

With her children’s blessing and guidance, Liz divorced. Merrill will take you through the steps she thought necessary and appropriate to divorcing her narcissistic husband, along with communication techniques and negotiating skills involved in the divorce process.

Liz went on to become a highly successful Divorce Coach and works with women going through divorces with high conflict personalities.

#highconflict #highconflictpeople #narcissism #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #divorce #childcustody #coparentingwithanarcissist #lizmerrill #judithweigle #theamicabledivorceexpert #divorcinganarcissist #divorcepodcast #emotionalabuse #divorcepodcast #brenebrown #minorchildren #communicatingwithanarcissist #narcissisticbehavior  

Biography of Liz Merrill, Open Space Mediation, Divorce Coach and Mediator

Liz Merrill is a Mediator and a Divorce Coach with a specialization in High Conflict and Narcissistic relationships.  She lectures regularly on high conflict divorce strategies and is a sought-after speaker and podcast guest. She also engages in regular pro bono work for families who are experiencing financial hardship and offers pro bono services through various nonprofits and the Colorado Court system. Her understanding of psychological and physiological reactions to trauma, conflict, and anxiety brings a holistic approach to her work with families caught in the High Conflict cycle. After her own litigious high-conflict divorce, she saw the need for a holistic approach to divorce mediation, which included non-violent communication skills, managing trauma, and an understanding of how personality traits and personality disorders create high conflict in a divorce.  When she started working as a mediator for the courts, she discovered how badly equipped most divorce professionals are to manage the specific needs of people in high conflict relationships and how damaging it can be to the individuals and, most importantly, the children and family systems. Now she helps hundreds of people in crisis find workable solutions so they can reduce anxiety, save money, and move on with their lives.

https://www.openspacemediation.com/

https://www.meetup.com/high-conflict-divorce-support-group-for-men/

https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-HighConflictDivorceGroupforW/

https://instagram.com/openspacemediation/

https://linkedin.com/in/lizkmerrill/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxpg55-OQ9ngXfFbaGsxMw

https://www.facebook.com/openspacemediation 

Who Gets the Oscar for Best Divorce?

The Amicable Divorce Expert Celebrity Divorce episode today is “Who Gets the Divorce Oscar?” It’s totally up for grabs! Featured divorces are Lucille Ball’s divorce from Desi Arnaz and how they deal with the community property film studio known as Desilu Productions; Steven Spielberg’s divorce from Amy Irving and a pre-nup that was challenged in court; Nicole Kidman’s divorce from Tom Cruise; and an example of conflict resolution in how Will Smith chose to handle an uncomfortable moment with his wife by blaming another person.

The 2022 Oscar telecast will go down in history. Don’t know which side of history it will fall on since the event just aired, but I will share with you how I saw the Will Smith slap. This is a conflict resolution moment and a moment of honest self-awareness. Chris Rock, like all comedians, told jokes at the audience’s expense.  He told a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s hair. Will Smith was heartily laughing at the joke until his wife gave him a dirty look. Then Will proceeded to the stage and slapped Chris Rock for “disrespecting his wife”.  Since Will Smith thought Chris Rock was funny until his wife showed her lack of appreciation, not in Chris’ joke, but in her husband’s reaction to the joke, Will could have still gotten up on stage, apologized publicly to his wife for laughing at the joke, and asked Chris to be more sensitive to a physical ailment that his wife was suffering from. Now this would have been a teachable moment in conflict resolution.

Divorce is not something that most people want to make public. In fact, when non-celebrities see references to their divorces online, they typically freak out.  But every inch of a celebrity’s divorce is made public.  If we use celebrity divorces to learn from, we can have real life guidance on how to work with the details of their divorces.

#willsmith #chrisrock #conflictresolution #prenuptialagreements #prenups #blendedfamilies #childcustody #dividingabusiness #nicolekidman #tomcruise #stevenspielberg #westsidestory #beingthericardos #stepparents #childcustody #2020oscars #divorce #divorcepodcast #theamicabledivorceexpert #amicabledivorce #judithmweigle #judyweigle 

The Perils of Parenting with Esther Jacob, MA, ACSW, CDC, Parent

THE Amicable Divorce Expert presents The Perils of Parenting with ESTHER JACOB, MA, ACSW, CDC, Parent

On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast host Judith M. Weigle interviews Esther Jacob, MA, Associate Clinical Social Worker and Certified Divorce Coach discusses the Perils of Parenting. “Parenting can suck or it can be really rewarding,” Esther refreshingly admits

Esther works primarily with women going through divorce, and primarily women with children. Esther looks at three areas of need for her clients:

1. Communication, not only with the other parent, but with the children, too
2. Child Counseling
3. Normalizing everything associated with divorce change

“Most people,” Jacobs reflects, “don’t know how to talk with their children when a divorce is occurring.”  This is because parents have emotional needs at this time and have a lot of fear financially while looking at a future of being a single parent. Children have their own set of needs in divorce. A trained therapist in family counseling, or in parent/child counseling could help exponentially to create understanding, positive communication, and coping mechanisms for this transition of the family.

Normalizing everything in flux during a divorce is paramount because people cannot function well in turmoil. People need a structure within which to live each day and a balance to their day. This is normal. To normalize a major shift in daily structure with new demands of time and thinking brought on by the divorce, can be accomplished with the help of someone who has lived it and works with it in practice.

Anxiety, depression, daily stress, panic attacks are a result of a divorce for the parents/spouses, but can also be experienced by their children. Parenting during a divorce is a herculean task. Almost impossible to be a present, patient, and productive parent. With the right professionals engaged – ‘it takes a team’ – the best possible results can be achieved.

Esther Jacob, MA, ACSW, Certified Divorce Coach Biography

Experienced Associate Clinical Social Worker and Certified Divorce Coach with a demonstrated history of working in private practice and in the hospital and health care industry. Skilled in Coaching, Psychotherapy with Individual, Couples and Group Work. Strong interpersonal skills and work ethic. Specializes in issues related to feeling overwhelmed, anxiety, depression, OCD, social anxiety, divorce, parenting and co-parenting. Deals with communication issues in all forms of relationships. Strong community and social services professional with a Masters Degree focused in Social Work from Adelphi University. In good standing with BBS.

www.estherjacob.com

contact@estherjacob.com

310.651.5066

https://www.linkedin.com/in/esther-jacob-acsw-417032ab/

#parenting #estherjacob #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast #perilsofcoparenting #coparenting #childrenofdivorce #childtherapy #divorce #childcustody #parallelparenting #anxiety #depression #socialanxiety #OCD #visitatonschedule #divorcecoach #perilsofparenting

BIRDNESTING with Ann Gold Buncho, PhD.

We have Ann Gold Buscho, PhD. On THE Amicable Divorce Expert today with Judith M. Weigle to discuss one creative option to co-parenting: Birdnesting, or Nesting as it is often called. There are many creative ways to organize the co-parenting plan: 2-2-3, 5 & 5, alternating weekends, and Nesting/Birdnesting. Dr. Buscho explains one option, Nesting, that allows for physical stability for the children, in that the parents move in and out of the family home while the children never move. They remain in their family home while their parents move in and out on their parenting time.

This option is a little more expensive because both parents share the financial cost of maintaining the family residence, along with another residence that the parents also share as their adult headquarters. 

Nesting also requires that the parents have good communication skills because they are still occupying the same addresses. Good communications skills are absolutely necessary in order to maintain a calm household for the children, to create a game plan for daily chores, to manage food purchasing for the parents and the children, to keep the home clean and the outside grounds maintained, to attend the children’s school and social events, and to model good behavior in front of the children.

It can seem unrealistic to have parents continue to live together via the Birdnesting approach, but parents who have respect for one another and who can communicate effectively verbally and in writing, find this form of co-parenting beneficial.

Dr. Buscho has many different checklists and questionnaires in her book to help parents decide if Bidnesting is right for them. She even has lists of Birdnesting deal breakers, lists of concerns that would make nesting ineffective at the least, and contributing to the imbalance of their children’s emotional health at the forefront: Parenting power struggles, mental health challenges, forgiveness, parallel parenting vs co-parenting, inability to stick to plans, maintenance of the environment, and parenting styles.

Lastly, Ann discusses ways in which to end Birdnesting. There has to be a plan in place so that the transition for the children and the parents can be smooth. Nesting can last months or years; it just depends on what approach services the family best.

Parents can learn to cooperate through the exercise of nesting/birdnesting. This arrangement can, in a good way, force parents to communicate and modify their behavior for the betterment of this new version of their family unit.

#nesting #birdnesting #coparenting #stepparenting #collaborativedivorce 3divorcetherapy #coparentingtherapy #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast 

About Our Guest Dr. Ann Gold Buscho, PhD.

Dr. Buscho is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in family issues and issues related to divorce., parenting, parent planning, and co-parenting counseling. She has professional and personal experience in nesting, co-parenting, stepparenting, and single-parenting issues. She has presented widely at state and national conferences for attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals on collaborative divorce, forgiveness practices, nesting during divorce, and consensual dispute resolution.

Dr. Buscho is also a founder of a residential treatment program for traumatized emergency responders and their families at which she volunteers regularly. A graduate of Stanford University and the California Graduate School of Psychology, she lives in San Rafael, California.

Ann writes regularly for Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce?eml) and other online publications, and has been a frequent guest on podcasts and radio programs relating to family issues.

www.drannbuscho.com

Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce?eml

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ann-buscho-ph-d-4110437/

Twitter: @abuschophd

Feacebook: www.facebook.com/drannbuscho

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/collaborativedivorce/ 

EXIT Interview with Colleen O’Neil

On the Amicable Divorce Expert podcast with Judith M. Weigle we have Mediator, Therapist, Educator, and podcast host Colleen O’Neil back sharing her experience getting divorced. It’s so interesting to listen to a divorced person who is a family law professional speak about their divorces and the challenges they faced in the process.

 

Colleen was married to a law enforcement professional, a sheriff, who was also an angry husband and father. They lived in Massachusetts. Like any of us, when we are upset, we can unfortunately use the tools of our profession to seemingly intimidate in order to make the divorce process harder. That’s because many of us don’t have the emotional language to use in place of intimidation. Why is that? Because we are not taught how to communicate when we are upset, or have mental health challenges that blind us from being able to compromise or see the other spouse’s point of view.

 

Colleen had a small child at the time of her divorce and this is where the compromise took place. Colleen agreed to drive her daughter to Massachusetts from Connecticut in order for her husband to be able to share co-parenting time. Colleen needed to move to Connecticut to live with her parents for a short time while regrouping to start a profession as a single parent with much-needed support from her family for her daughter while going to school and working.

 

Compromise is part of every divorce settlement. Sometimes the price of compromise is huge, but so is the reward.  For Colleen, her reward was having family support while raising her daughter as a single mother and receiving the education needed to provide an excellent life for her child.  Colleen received the gold, the currency she found essential to moving forward and out of the marriage.

 

What currency is in your compromise wallet?

 

COLLEEN O’NEIL’S BIOGRAPHY

 

Colleen O’Neil, MSW, M.Ed. brings remarkable credentials and impeccable skill sets in assisting others with creating exceptional agreements. She is a mediator, educator, therapist and life coach. She has been helping individuals, children, couples and families to create a space where each individual feels heard and safe.

 

Colleen worked for the Cambridge, MA District Attorney’s office assisting victims of violence, homicide, rape and child abuse. She has trained law enforcement in victims services, empowering them with knowledge and skill sets necessary to help victims.

 

Colleen is a board member of Shared Parenting Council of Connecticut working to improve state laws and policies governing divorce, parenting and family court processes.

 

O’Neil’s work is focused extensively as a Relationship expert, Divorce Mediator and Life Coach. Her additional mediation training, and personal experience going through divorce, is what makes Colleen an accomplished, qualified and competent divorce professional to assist in creating balanced and tailored mediation agreements.

 

Colleen maintains a private mediation practice and divorce coaching practice in Westport, CT.

 

Colleen@ColleenONeil.com

MediationandBeyond.com

Mediation and Beyon, LLC

@mediation_and_beyond (IG)

Colleen P. O’Neil (FB)

Colleen O’Neil (LinkedIn)

Mediation and Beyond (You Tube)

 

#childabuse #domesticviolence #coparenting #divorcesettlements #divorcemediation #divorcefinancialanalyst #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast #compromise #familycourt #divorcecoach #lifecoach #mediationandbeyond #mediationandbeyondpodcast #judithweigle #judithmweigle #amicabledivrce #amicabledivorcepodcast

Can Mediation Work for Everyone?

Can Mediation Work for Everyone? with our guest Colleen O’Neil, MSW, M.Ed, Mediation and Beyond, LLC, Mediator, Therapist, Life Coach, Educator and podcast host of Mediation and Beyond. We will discuss:

  • Domestic Violence .
  • When mediation isn’t the right choice, at least not now.
  • The court’s inadequacy in decisions regarding child abuse.
  • How to prepare for mediation.
  • How to know when you have the right financial settlement.

A core philosophy that Colleen will discuss is about change. “You don’t need to wait on someone else to change so that you can change yourself.” Coming from all of Colleen’s levels of expertise, she shows us that waiting for our spouses to change will not serve our purposes if we feel that change is needed in order for the relationship to move forward. When we see that change is needed, we need to change. Or, when we feel that we need to make changes within our relationship role, waiting is not in our best interest.

There’s no excuse for child abuse. There is no masking the fact that if a parent is abusing their child, a change needs to take place. But is the court the best place to make that change? Are Judges in the position to understand the scope of the abuse, the existence of the abuse, and provide a remedy for the abuse?

Biography of Colleen O’Neil, MSW, M.Ed, Divorce Mediator, Life Coach, Relationship Expert

Colleen O’Neil brings remarkable credentials and impeccable skill sets in assisting others with creating exceptional agreements. Colleen worked for the Cambridge, MA district Attorney’s office assisting victims of violence, homicide, rape, and child abuse. She also trained law enforcement and professionals in victim services, empowering them to understand how to help victims.

Colleen is a board member of Shared Parenting Council of Connecticut working hard to improve state laws and policies governing divorce, parenting and family court processes.

O’Neil maintains a private mediation and divorce coaching practice in Westport, CT and will also travel to clients. Colleen@ColleenONeil.com MediationandBeyond.com Mediation and Beyon, LLC @mediation_and_beyond (IG) Colleen P. O’Neil (FB) Colleen O’Neil (LinkedIn) Mediation and Beyond (YouTube)

#childabuse #domesticviolence #coparenting #divorcesettlements #divorcemediation #divorcefinancialanalyst #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast #compromise #familycourt #divorcecoach #lifecoach #mediationandbeyond #mediationandbeyondpodcast #judithweigle #judithmweigle #amicabledivrce #amicabledivorcepodcast