The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast

a podcast devoted to amicable divorces

The Perils of Parenting with Esther Jacob, MA, ACSW, CDC, Parent

THE Amicable Divorce Expert presents The Perils of Parenting with ESTHER JACOB, MA, ACSW, CDC, Parent

On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast host Judith M. Weigle interviews Esther Jacob, MA, Associate Clinical Social Worker and Certified Divorce Coach discusses the Perils of Parenting. “Parenting can suck or it can be really rewarding,” Esther refreshingly admits

Esther works primarily with women going through divorce, and primarily women with children. Esther looks at three areas of need for her clients:

1. Communication, not only with the other parent, but with the children, too
2. Child Counseling
3. Normalizing everything associated with divorce change

“Most people,” Jacobs reflects, “don’t know how to talk with their children when a divorce is occurring.”  This is because parents have emotional needs at this time and have a lot of fear financially while looking at a future of being a single parent. Children have their own set of needs in divorce. A trained therapist in family counseling, or in parent/child counseling could help exponentially to create understanding, positive communication, and coping mechanisms for this transition of the family.

Normalizing everything in flux during a divorce is paramount because people cannot function well in turmoil. People need a structure within which to live each day and a balance to their day. This is normal. To normalize a major shift in daily structure with new demands of time and thinking brought on by the divorce, can be accomplished with the help of someone who has lived it and works with it in practice.

Anxiety, depression, daily stress, panic attacks are a result of a divorce for the parents/spouses, but can also be experienced by their children. Parenting during a divorce is a herculean task. Almost impossible to be a present, patient, and productive parent. With the right professionals engaged – ‘it takes a team’ – the best possible results can be achieved.

Esther Jacob, MA, ACSW, Certified Divorce Coach Biography

Experienced Associate Clinical Social Worker and Certified Divorce Coach with a demonstrated history of working in private practice and in the hospital and health care industry. Skilled in Coaching, Psychotherapy with Individual, Couples and Group Work. Strong interpersonal skills and work ethic. Specializes in issues related to feeling overwhelmed, anxiety, depression, OCD, social anxiety, divorce, parenting and co-parenting. Deals with communication issues in all forms of relationships. Strong community and social services professional with a Masters Degree focused in Social Work from Adelphi University. In good standing with BBS.


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BIRDNESTING with Ann Gold Buncho, PhD.

We have Ann Gold Buscho, PhD. On THE Amicable Divorce Expert today with Judith M. Weigle to discuss one creative option to co-parenting: Birdnesting, or Nesting as it is often called. There are many creative ways to organize the co-parenting plan: 2-2-3, 5 & 5, alternating weekends, and Nesting/Birdnesting. Dr. Buscho explains one option, Nesting, that allows for physical stability for the children, in that the parents move in and out of the family home while the children never move. They remain in their family home while their parents move in and out on their parenting time.

This option is a little more expensive because both parents share the financial cost of maintaining the family residence, along with another residence that the parents also share as their adult headquarters. 

Nesting also requires that the parents have good communication skills because they are still occupying the same addresses. Good communications skills are absolutely necessary in order to maintain a calm household for the children, to create a game plan for daily chores, to manage food purchasing for the parents and the children, to keep the home clean and the outside grounds maintained, to attend the children’s school and social events, and to model good behavior in front of the children.

It can seem unrealistic to have parents continue to live together via the Birdnesting approach, but parents who have respect for one another and who can communicate effectively verbally and in writing, find this form of co-parenting beneficial.

Dr. Buscho has many different checklists and questionnaires in her book to help parents decide if Bidnesting is right for them. She even has lists of Birdnesting deal breakers, lists of concerns that would make nesting ineffective at the least, and contributing to the imbalance of their children’s emotional health at the forefront: Parenting power struggles, mental health challenges, forgiveness, parallel parenting vs co-parenting, inability to stick to plans, maintenance of the environment, and parenting styles.

Lastly, Ann discusses ways in which to end Birdnesting. There has to be a plan in place so that the transition for the children and the parents can be smooth. Nesting can last months or years; it just depends on what approach services the family best.

Parents can learn to cooperate through the exercise of nesting/birdnesting. This arrangement can, in a good way, force parents to communicate and modify their behavior for the betterment of this new version of their family unit.

#nesting #birdnesting #coparenting #stepparenting #collaborativedivorce 3divorcetherapy #coparentingtherapy #theamicabledivorceexpert #theamicabledivorceexpertpodcast 

About Our Guest Dr. Ann Gold Buscho, PhD.

Dr. Buscho is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in family issues and issues related to divorce., parenting, parent planning, and co-parenting counseling. She has professional and personal experience in nesting, co-parenting, stepparenting, and single-parenting issues. She has presented widely at state and national conferences for attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial professionals on collaborative divorce, forgiveness practices, nesting during divorce, and consensual dispute resolution.

Dr. Buscho is also a founder of a residential treatment program for traumatized emergency responders and their families at which she volunteers regularly. A graduate of Stanford University and the California Graduate School of Psychology, she lives in San Rafael, California.

Ann writes regularly for Psychology Today ( and other online publications, and has been a frequent guest on podcasts and radio programs relating to family issues.



Twitter: @abuschophd



What Is Best Interests of the Children? with Elle Barr

Elle Barr, attorney and Judicial Educational Coordinator for Our FamilyWizard will discuss what the phrase Best Interests of the Children really means and looks like. Family law professionals use this phrase constantly, but it’s the most difficult behavior to enact. Most people are so emotional during the divorce process that they can barely function. Keeping the parents’ own lives together is difficult enough with working, domestic duties, children’s schooling and activities, and now the co-parenting plan is added, that parents are completely stressed out. Barr will discuss some tips for focusing on the children as well as yourself and the other co-parent. Everybody does the best they can, but sometimes your best needs help. There are ways to mitigate your parental personal stress in order to focus on whatever needs to be done to keep the children balanced and healthy as the entire family goes through the divorce transition.

Holiday Parenting Plans for Blended Families with Judy Graybill, Certified StepParent Coach

Holidays are stressful enough without the additional effort in organizing co-parenting plans with blended families. These configurations can be anything from everyone gets together in one house, to separating days with the children, to dividing each day between co-parents. Whichever way works best for your family, Judy will support with different approaches to including step-parents, when to include step-parents, how step-parents can create their own dynamic for an amicable extension of the family, and how to eliminate the stress attached to these decisions. Let’s end this year with a Ho-Ho-Ho for All!?

Blended Families and the Holidays with Certified Divorce Coach, Molly Wilder, and Divorced Mom of Seven Children

Molly takes us through her journey to divorce, in light of her religious background and her role as a home schooler, two very important considerations while making the decision to transition out of the marriage. Molly and her former husband made a conscious decision to give their children the best lives possible post divorce, and to always blend their families. Now that Molly and the children’s father are in other relationships, their families have grown to include everyone! They even have a blended family holiday card that they send out to friends and family. Let’s listen to this incredible role model of a single mom, divorced mom, and step-parent share her divorce story, her story of conscious commitment to family, and how she has made her blended family a modern miracle to enjoy and from which to learn.

Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards Child Support Ruling

Our Celebrity Divorce series focuses on the current child support modification case of Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. Attorney Matthew Smurda will take us through the modification process for custody, the co-parenting schedule, and child support, addressing fears and concerns that both parents have with these three aspects of co-parenting.

The Mom‘s Guide to a Good Divorce by Sarah Armstrong

Positive Communication, Respectful Behavior, and Putting Your Child’s Interests First are all forms of Leading By Example. Even if you are the only parent modeling good communication and respectful behavior, you have a chance of influencing your spouse to model the same.

Custody: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Celebrity Divorce with Attorney Christopher Melcher:

When custody decisions become difficult, there are either control issues going on between the parents resulting in custody complications, or there can be behavioral issues with one spouse that are not being dealt with. This episode is a thorough look at custody and co-parenting for the best interests of the child.

Celebrity Divorces with Attorney Matthew Smurda: Brad & Angelina

Child Custody will be discussed using Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as examples of multiple children in a marriage, some biologically connected to the spouses, and some who existed before the marriage and only to one spouse.  What can be the options for child custody and child support if the non-biological children of one spouse have not be officially adopted by the other spouse, yet were raised by the non-biological spouse? This is the case in many divorces and can present a conundrum of decisions when filing for the divorce, and creating settlement agreements for custody and support.